You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
