His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
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