Sponge bath it is.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My ATM looks so different sober.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
