Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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