did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
