I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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