Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
