Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
