somebody snuck up and got me drunk
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
