youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
