forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
