i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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