I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My hand turned me down
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
