There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I still have a little drunk in my system
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize