he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
