I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
