you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
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Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
please don't ironically join a cult
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