Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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