i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
