its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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