now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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