fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
