drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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