By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
