I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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