I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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