Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
