Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
