Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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