she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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