where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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