she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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