Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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