Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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