I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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