hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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