Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
