I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I would fuck him just for his dog
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
