I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
