I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
