laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
