so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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