dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
