last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
50% drunk capacity currently
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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