When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize