I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is Oprah even human
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
