Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
