I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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