last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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