we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My bed smells like the plague
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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