did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
