I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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