oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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