You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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