He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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