If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
