you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
